Am I crazy? Am I a defeatist? Could this possibly be normal? This day has made me think that I make everything in life too difficult. For example:
Woke up at 7am. Felt tired (went to bed way after midnight waiting for teenagers to come home!). Decided to do my workout first thing. Think things through. If I hurry I can go and get back before my BYU student has to leave for his lab. Might have time to get ready before daughter has church basketball game. Maybe I should print off the exercise forms Traci sent so I can do those at the gym. Print lists off. Look at a few other things on the computer. Wonder if my son went to have TB shot looked at yesterday (so he can put in his mission papers). Go down to wake him up and check. Yes he did. Think I still can get a workout in if I just stay home and do the Healthrider. Maybe I should make breakfast for son before his lab. Start making french toast. He tells me he doesn't have time to eat it:(. Still thinking I can get that workout in. Daughter comes to see if I am going to her game. Of course I am I tell her. Throw on a hat and go. Watch daughter play ball. Visit with another mom. Boy, she must have it all together I think. She's working, looking cute, so accomplished, so smart. She probably even got her workout in! After game, go home. Tell my kids I am grounded until I get my workout in. Read the paper. Tell myself I have to workout. Watch my son finish the breakfast that I started to make first thing this morning. Enjoy visiting with our children especially our son home from BYU-Idaho. Tell myself I can't eat until I workout. Talk about going to check out some of the President's Day sales. Remind myself that I am grounded until I workout. Can't resist the french toast on the counter anymore. Eat it plain (and cold!). Talk with hubby. Tell myself I have got to go downstairs and workout!!!! Son tells me I should get my workout in.
Finally, go downstairs and get on the Healthrider. Check the clock 1:11pm. How am I going to do this for 30 minutes (because Traci said if it isn't 30 minutes it doesn't count!)? Plug in my headphones and rowdy music. I know I can do this!
Well, 40 minutes later (we love those favorite songs!) I am feeling great (except for the fact that I have wasted practically the whole day:(!). If I am crazy so be it! If for some unknown reason I am trying to sabotage myself in this 100 day challenge - STOP IT! Yes, I am off to a VERY slow start but I really, really, really want to do this! Optimism, here we come!
I'm going to try this comment thing again...we'll see if it works! Thanks for the glimpse inside your head. I think it's totally normal, especially for a mom. We do for our kids without a second thought, but find every reason to put off doing for ourselves. We can do this (right?)!
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